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Chapter 11: Say It, Hear It

The Science of Nonverbal Communication

When we talk about "language," most of us immediately think of spoken or written language, but the fact is that human beings continually pour out reams of communication without speaking or writing a single word. Our facial expressions, our posture, and how we use our hands can be even more expressive of our feelings than our words. That said, it's important to watch our gestures just as closely as we watch our words.

Researchers have identified four primary areas of nonverbal communication:

Kinesics. Kinesics is a nonverbal behavior that is connected to movement. Researchers P. Ekman and W. V. Friesen describe five forms of kinesics: emblems (nonverbal messages that have a verbal counterpart, like the "V" for victory); illustrators (nonverbal movements that illustrate what is being said, as in hand gestures); affective displays (primarily facial movements that display emotions, as in frowns, smiles, etc.); regulators (nonverbal signs that regulate, modulate, and maintain the flow of speech during a conversation, as in nodding); and adaptors (changes in posture or other movements, like slouching or resting one's chin on one's hand).
Proxemics. The term "proxemics," coined by researcher Edward T. Hall, refers to the "perception and use of space." Body space-the distance deemed appropriate in social intercourse between two people-is one example of proxemics. Hall identified four bodily distances: intimate (0 to 18 inches); personal-casual (1.5 to 4 feet); social-consultive (4 to 10 feet); and public (10 feet and beyond). Hall noted that different cultures set different norms for body space, and that standing too close or too far away can lead to misunderstandings and even suspicion and disharmony, based on these cultural standards.
Occulesics. The study of the way the eyes are used during communication, occulesics is also culturally determined. In the United States, we are suspicious of people who "don't look us in the eye." In other parts of the world, however, it is considered rude or presumptuous to establish eye contact with a person you don't know well, and so lowering one's gaze is a common sign of respect or deference.
Haptics. Haptics, a nonverbal behavior identified by psychologist Richard Heslin, deals with manners of touching in different societies. One prominent example of a haptic action is the handshake, which can be interpreted in widely divergent ways depending on the cultural context.

Common Speech Problems and Solutions

The mumbling and "you know…like…uh" habits that pervade your speech today may become a handicap tomorrow. When you interview for a job, for instance, it is most desirable that the interviewer be able to understand what you're saying. Ultimately, personal style aside, most of us cannot afford to have points taken off for speech problems or any other externals that limit the way other people see us. We present here some of the more common speech problems, with suggestions for what you can do about them.

Poor enunciation. This is a problem that will quickly drive your listeners to distraction. Poor enunciation can take the form of mumbling or of sloppy speech, as when you continually drop the "g"s on verbs like "going," "thinking," or "walking." Closely related to poor enunciation is speech that is too rapid for the average person to decipher. If you are motivated to improve your enunciation, you can do so by studying your face in the mirror as you speak. Can you see your lips move to make those final "g"s? Are they moving at all or do you seem to be imitating a ventriloquist?
Overreliance on fillers. One of the characteristics that people often note about Senator Hilary Rodham Clinton is that she can spool out entire paragraphs of seamlessly spoken language in perfectly formed sentences and even paragraphs. Most of us cannot do anything of the sort. We find it difficult to articulate our thoughts, and, as we proceed haltingly with what we have to say, we hem and haw and tend to rely excessively on "fillers" like "um" or "like" or "you know." Our goal, as we seek to become more assured, is to flush out these fillers and, if necessary, substitute silence in their place.
Tone of voice. Listen to any professional speaker-an experienced lecturer or a television commentator-and you'll see that one of the tricks of the trade is the ability to vary vocal tone and pitch. A person can be conveying the most extraordinarily fascinating information, but if the voice stays in one key the whole time, it doesn't matter how good the material is.
One way to improve in this area is to practice saying things with more emotion. Choose any few sentences-I'm going to the supermarket; I found a penny in the street; I am having tuna casserole for dinner-and try saying them as if they were (1) situations that fill you with joy or (2) situations that fill you with despair. Just practicing this and listening to the sounds your voice can make depending on the emotional content of what you're saying can be a real revelation. Also related to tone of voice is volume. Do you watch situation comedies on TV? Think of Janis, Chandler's ghastly ex-girlfriend, on Friends and the shrill tones she emits. Or, going to the other end of the spectrum, do you recall the classic Seinfeld episode when Kramer's girlfriend, the notorious "low talker," spoke so softly that she got Jerry to promise to wear the infamous "puffy shirt" on national television? Too shrill or too low are both transgressions to be found on either end of the scale.
Pronunciation. Watch how you say certain words. Even though President Bush seems to get away with saying "nucular" for "nuclear," it still makes a better impression to say a word as it was meant to be said. That means "library" instead of "liberry," "idea" instead of "idear," "drowned" instead of "drownded" and so on.
Stuttering. Stuttering is a serious communication disorder in which the flow of speech is broken by repetitions, prolongations, or abnormal stoppages in which no sounds emerge. Over 3 million Americans suffer from this problem, or approximately 1 percent of the population. Some very successful people have stuttered and gone on to major careers, among them Winston Churchill, the actor James Earl Jones, singer Carly Simon, basketball player Bill Walton, and others. Stuttering can respond very well to speech therapy.

Communicating with Non-Native English Speakers

In our increasingly multicultural society, it is very important that native English speakers understand how to best communicate with non-native speakers. Consider these suggestions:

Use short words in short sentences. Think SWISS-(a mnemonic standing for Short Words in Short Sentences). "Nice to meet you" is going to translate a lot faster than "It's been a pleasure to make your acquaintance."
Avoid slang. Some of the slang we all use is not yet found in English dictionaries, let alone in translation dictionaries. Non-native speakers who try to look up words like "geek" or "techno-savvy" in their pocket translators are likely to come up empty-handed.
Avoid idiomatic expressions that won't literally translate. It was reported in The Wall Street Journal that the familiar English expression "out of sight, out of mind" became "invisible, insane" in a Japanese translation.
Don't yell. Raising your voice is not going to necessarily make it easier for your non-native speaker to understand what you're saying. In fact, it might only make him anxious. Speaking slowly, however, is bound to help.

Lost in Translation

The stories below of marketing missteps, while in some cases perhaps apocryphal, convey the pitfalls and the amusements that come with translating from one language to another.

In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead.
In Chinese, Kentucky Fried Chicken's "finger'-lickin' good" slogan became "Eat your fingers off."
When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint in Mexico, its ads meant to say, "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." The company didn't realize that the word "embarazar" in its translation didn't mean "embarrass." The ad came out, "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."
An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into "Schweppes Toilet Water."
A Microsoft Windows '95 ad slogan, translated into Japanese: "If you don't know where you want to go, we'll make sure you get taken."
Not even the president is exempt: John Kennedy's announcement to the people of Berlin, "Ich bin ein Berliner!" translated to: "I am a jelly doughnut!"

Everybody's Talking. Who's Listening?

We speak about 125 words per minute, but hear about 400 words per minute. Even though our capacity for hearing is wonderful, we hear only 25 percent of what is said and, after 2 months, remember only one-half of that. Because listening plays a vital role in our everyday communications, and consequently affects everything we do and expect done, this inefficiency is a constant cause of problems. With a little knowledge and practice, people can double their listening ability.

Listening Techniques
Preview. Before you open your mouth, take a preliminary survey of what has been said.
Listening critically. Spoken language involves personal references, more informality, and complex nonverbal signals. Determine what the speaker doesn't say by reading between the lines and considering the context of the situation.
Review and evaluate. When your speaker pauses for response, clear up questionable points and try to evaluate his or her comments.

Responsibilities of the Listener
Prepare for listening. Prepare the physical setting, if at all possible, to be more conducive to listening. This may mean choosing an environment that is quieter or less distracting.
Concentrate on verbal messages. Listen to every spoken word and try to assign the correct meaning to each word. Listen to how the speaker varies pauses, pace, pitch, tone, volume, and intonation to help you interpret the message.
Concentrate on the nonverbal message. Try to decipher the meaning of nonverbal communication. Watch out for conflicting and mixed messages. Often the voice, facial expressions, gestures, or body movements and positions reveal much more than words.

The Results of Effective Listening

Permits speaker and listener to improve communication.
Shows speaker that listeners are interested; the speaker is encouraged.
Helps listener gain useful information.
Promotes better understanding.
Helps participants talk about problems.
Leads to positive attitudes.

Food for Thought: Practice Your Skills
The library has many Books on Tape you can use to improve your listening skills. Choose tapes on subjects that interest you or on subjects of interest or curiosity. Putting yourself into this kind of listening/learning mode will help you develop skills that can then be applied to your classroom experience. And try this too: practice listening with your eyes closed. It often amplifies the listening experience significantly. Just don't try it while you're driving your car!

Communicating on the Telephone

The telephone is a very important public relations tool since a large number of communications are by telephone. If you are to do an effective job on the telephone, there are several techniques that can help you.

Telephone Manners
Be conscious of your voice. Your voice is you on the phone. The person on the other end of the line can't see your facial expressions or gestures.
Speak distinctly. To improve your speech over the telephone, follow these simple rules:

Watch your posture.
Breathe deeply.
Pronounce all words distinctly.
Speak at a moderate pace.
Use a pitch that is neither too high nor too low.
Do not speak too loudly or too softly.
Hold the telephone so that it is neither too close nor too far away.

Be helpful and discreet. Be willing to help the caller. Ask who's calling, but be discreet. Be prepared to answer questions.
Ask questions tactfully. You may ask a caller's business before disturbing your employer, but do so with tact.
Take messages completely and accurately. Keep a telephone message pad and pencil by your phone so that you can take messages and notes completely and accurately without fumbling for materials.
Be attentive. Give your undivided attention to every phone call. Avoid interruptions and side remarks. Concentrate on the telephone conversation.
Be courteous. Say "thank you" and "you're welcome."
Use the caller's name. Find out who is calling and use the caller's name in conversation.
Transfer calls properly. When you transfer a call, tell the other party the name of the person to whom he or she is being transferred. Give the other party the number in case he or she is cut off or wants to reach that number again.
Terminate calls courteously. Allow the party who called to sign off first, but if necessary try this closing line: "Thank you for calling, Mr. Mitchell; I'll get back to you immediately."
Keep a list of frequently called numbers. Note each person's name, company, and phone number, as well as the best time to call.
Handle problem calls. A relaxed and courteous tone will induce your caller to adopt an agreeable manner.

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