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Online Companion: The Complete Student, Achieving Success in College and Beyond
For Your Information
Chapter 11: Say It, Hear It
The Science of
Nonverbal Communication
When we talk about
"language," most of us immediately think of spoken or written language,
but the fact is that human beings continually pour out reams of communication
without speaking or writing a single word. Our facial expressions, our
posture, and how we use our hands can be even more expressive of our feelings
than our words. That said, it's important to watch our gestures just as
closely as we watch our words.
Researchers have identified
four primary areas of nonverbal communication:
- Kinesics.
Kinesics is a nonverbal behavior that is connected to movement. Researchers
P. Ekman and W. V. Friesen describe five forms of kinesics: emblems
(nonverbal messages that have a verbal counterpart, like the "V" for
victory); illustrators (nonverbal movements that illustrate what
is being said, as in hand gestures); affective displays
(primarily facial movements that display emotions, as in frowns, smiles,
etc.); regulators (nonverbal signs that regulate, modulate, and
maintain the flow of speech during a conversation, as in nodding); and
adaptors (changes in posture or other movements, like slouching
or resting one's chin on one's hand).
- Proxemics.
The term "proxemics," coined by researcher Edward T. Hall, refers to
the "perception and use of space." Body space-the distance deemed
appropriate in social intercourse between two people-is one example
of proxemics. Hall identified four bodily distances: intimate
(0 to 18 inches); personal-casual (1.5 to 4 feet); social-consultive
(4 to 10 feet); and public (10 feet and beyond). Hall noted that
different cultures set different norms for body space, and that standing
too close or too far away can lead to misunderstandings and even suspicion
and disharmony, based on these cultural standards.
- Occulesics.
The study of the way the eyes are used during communication, occulesics
is also culturally determined. In the United States, we are suspicious
of people who "don't look us in the eye." In other parts of the world,
however, it is considered rude or presumptuous to establish eye contact
with a person you don't know well, and so lowering one's gaze is a common
sign of respect or deference.
- Haptics.
Haptics, a nonverbal behavior identified by psychologist Richard Heslin,
deals with manners of touching in different societies. One prominent
example of a haptic action is the handshake, which can be interpreted
in widely divergent ways depending on the cultural context.
Common Speech Problems
and Solutions
The mumbling and "you
know…like…uh" habits that pervade your speech today may become a handicap
tomorrow. When you interview for a job, for instance, it is most desirable
that the interviewer be able to understand what you're saying. Ultimately,
personal style aside, most of us cannot afford to have points taken off
for speech problems or any other externals that limit the way other people
see us. We present here some of the more common speech problems, with
suggestions for what you can do about them.
- Poor enunciation.
This is a problem that will quickly drive your listeners to distraction.
Poor enunciation can take the form of mumbling or of sloppy speech,
as when you continually drop the "g"s on verbs like "going," "thinking,"
or "walking." Closely related to poor enunciation is speech that is
too rapid for the average person to decipher. If you are motivated to
improve your enunciation, you can do so by studying your face in the
mirror as you speak. Can you see your lips move to make those final
"g"s? Are they moving at all or do you seem to be imitating a ventriloquist?
- Overreliance
on fillers. One of the characteristics that people often note about
Senator Hilary Rodham Clinton is that she can spool out entire paragraphs
of seamlessly spoken language in perfectly formed sentences and even
paragraphs. Most of us cannot do anything of the sort. We find it difficult
to articulate our thoughts, and, as we proceed haltingly with what we
have to say, we hem and haw and tend to rely excessively on "fillers"
like "um" or "like" or "you know." Our goal, as we seek to become more
assured, is to flush out these fillers and, if necessary, substitute
silence in their place.
- Tone of voice.
Listen to any professional speaker-an experienced lecturer or a television
commentator-and you'll see that one of the tricks of the trade is the
ability to vary vocal tone and pitch. A person can be conveying the
most extraordinarily fascinating information, but if the voice stays
in one key the whole time, it doesn't matter how good the material is.
One way to improve in this area is to practice saying things with more
emotion. Choose any few sentences-I'm going to the supermarket; I
found a penny in the street; I am having tuna casserole for dinner-and
try saying them as if they were (1) situations that fill you with joy
or (2) situations that fill you with despair. Just practicing this and
listening to the sounds your voice can make depending on the emotional
content of what you're saying can be a real revelation. Also related
to tone of voice is volume. Do you watch situation comedies on TV? Think
of Janis, Chandler's ghastly ex-girlfriend, on Friends and the shrill
tones she emits. Or, going to the other end of the spectrum, do you
recall the classic Seinfeld episode when Kramer's girlfriend, the notorious
"low talker," spoke so softly that she got Jerry to promise to wear
the infamous "puffy shirt" on national television? Too shrill or too
low are both transgressions to be found on either end of the scale.
- Pronunciation.
Watch how you say certain words. Even though President Bush seems
to get away with saying "nucular" for "nuclear," it still makes a better
impression to say a word as it was meant to be said. That means "library"
instead of "liberry," "idea" instead of "idear," "drowned" instead of
"drownded" and so on.
- Stuttering.
Stuttering is a serious communication disorder in which the flow of
speech is broken by repetitions, prolongations, or abnormal stoppages
in which no sounds emerge. Over 3 million Americans suffer from this
problem, or approximately 1 percent of the population. Some very successful
people have stuttered and gone on to major careers, among them Winston
Churchill, the actor James Earl Jones, singer Carly Simon, basketball
player Bill Walton, and others. Stuttering can respond very well to
speech therapy.
Communicating with
Non-Native English Speakers
In our increasingly
multicultural society, it is very important that native English speakers
understand how to best communicate with non-native speakers. Consider
these suggestions:
- Use short words
in short sentences. Think SWISS-(a mnemonic standing for Short Words
in Short Sentences). "Nice to meet you" is going to translate a lot
faster than "It's been a pleasure to make your acquaintance."
- Avoid slang.
Some of the slang we all use is not yet found in English dictionaries,
let alone in translation dictionaries. Non-native speakers who try to
look up words like "geek" or "techno-savvy" in their pocket translators
are likely to come up empty-handed.
- Avoid idiomatic
expressions that won't literally translate. It was reported in The
Wall Street Journal that the familiar English expression "out of sight,
out of mind" became "invisible, insane" in a Japanese translation.
- Don't yell.
Raising your voice is not going to necessarily make it easier for your
non-native speaker to understand what you're saying. In fact, it might
only make him anxious. Speaking slowly, however, is bound to help.
Lost in Translation
The stories below
of marketing missteps, while in some cases perhaps apocryphal, convey
the pitfalls and the amusements that come with translating from one language
to another.
- In Taiwan, the
translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation"
came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead.
- In Chinese, Kentucky
Fried Chicken's "finger'-lickin' good" slogan became "Eat your fingers
off."
- When Parker Pen
marketed a ballpoint in Mexico, its ads meant to say, "It won't leak
in your pocket and embarrass you." The company didn't realize that the
word "embarazar" in its translation didn't mean "embarrass." The ad
came out, "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."
- An American T-shirt
maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted
the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts
read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
- In Italy, a campaign
for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into "Schweppes Toilet
Water."
- A Microsoft Windows
'95 ad slogan, translated into Japanese: "If you don't know where you
want to go, we'll make sure you get taken."
- Not even the president
is exempt: John Kennedy's announcement to the people of Berlin, "Ich
bin ein Berliner!" translated to: "I am a jelly doughnut!"
Everybody's Talking.
Who's Listening?
We speak about 125
words per minute, but hear about 400 words per minute. Even though our
capacity for hearing is wonderful, we hear only 25 percent of what is
said and, after 2 months, remember only one-half of that. Because listening
plays a vital role in our everyday communications, and consequently affects
everything we do and expect done, this inefficiency is a constant cause
of problems. With a little knowledge and practice, people can double their
listening ability.
Listening Techniques
Preview. Before you open your mouth, take a preliminary survey of
what has been said.
Listening critically. Spoken language involves personal references,
more informality, and complex nonverbal signals. Determine what the speaker
doesn't say by reading between the lines and considering the context of
the situation.
Review and evaluate. When your speaker pauses for response, clear
up questionable points and try to evaluate his or her comments.
Responsibilities
of the Listener
Prepare for listening. Prepare the physical setting, if at all possible,
to be more conducive to listening. This may mean choosing an environment
that is quieter or less distracting.
Concentrate on verbal messages. Listen to every spoken word and
try to assign the correct meaning to each word. Listen to how the speaker
varies pauses, pace, pitch, tone, volume, and intonation to help you interpret
the message.
Concentrate on the nonverbal message. Try to decipher the meaning
of nonverbal communication. Watch out for conflicting and mixed messages.
Often the voice, facial expressions, gestures, or body movements and positions
reveal much more than words.
The Results of
Effective Listening
- Permits speaker
and listener to improve communication.
- Shows speaker that
listeners are interested; the speaker is encouraged.
- Helps listener
gain useful information.
- Promotes better
understanding.
- Helps participants
talk about problems.
- Leads to positive
attitudes.
From The Successful
Interview & Beyond by Lois Pigford. Copyright © 2001 Thomson Delmar
Learning, a division of Thomson Learning, Inc. All rights reserved.
Food for Thought:
Practice Your Skills
The library has many Books on Tape you can use to improve your listening
skills. Choose tapes on subjects that interest you or on subjects of interest
or curiosity. Putting yourself into this kind of listening/learning mode
will help you develop skills that can then be applied to your classroom
experience. And try this too: practice listening with your eyes closed.
It often amplifies the listening experience significantly. Just don't
try it while you're driving your car!
Communicating on
the Telephone
The telephone is a
very important public relations tool since a large number of communications
are by telephone. If you are to do an effective job on the telephone,
there are several techniques that can help you.
Telephone Manners
Be conscious of your voice. Your voice is you on the phone. The
person on the other end of the line can't see your facial expressions
or gestures.
Speak distinctly. To improve your speech over the telephone, follow
these simple rules:
- Watch your posture.
- Breathe deeply.
- Pronounce all words
distinctly.
- Speak at a moderate
pace.
- Use a pitch that
is neither too high nor too low.
- Do not speak too
loudly or too softly.
- Hold the telephone
so that it is neither too close nor too far away.
Be helpful and
discreet. Be willing to help the caller. Ask who's calling, but be
discreet. Be prepared to answer questions.
Ask questions tactfully. You may ask a caller's business before
disturbing your employer, but do so with tact.
Take messages completely and accurately. Keep a telephone message
pad and pencil by your phone so that you can take messages and notes completely
and accurately without fumbling for materials.
Be attentive. Give your undivided attention to every phone call.
Avoid interruptions and side remarks. Concentrate on the telephone conversation.
Be courteous. Say "thank you" and "you're welcome."
Use the caller's name. Find out who is calling and use the caller's
name in conversation.
Transfer calls properly. When you transfer a call, tell the other
party the name of the person to whom he or she is being transferred. Give
the other party the number in case he or she is cut off or wants to reach
that number again.
Terminate calls courteously. Allow the party who called to sign
off first, but if necessary try this closing line: "Thank you for calling,
Mr. Mitchell; I'll get back to you immediately."
Keep a list of frequently called numbers. Note each person's name,
company, and phone number, as well as the best time to call.
Handle problem calls. A relaxed and courteous tone will induce
your caller to adopt an agreeable manner.
From The Successful
Interview & Beyond by Lois Pigford. Copyright © 2001 Thomson Delmar
Learning, a division of Thomson Learning, Inc. All rights reserved.
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