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Chapter 8: Stressed Out

Stress Check

Stress that pushes us to excel and meet (or exceed) our expectations is good stress. Bad stress is anything that pushes us to worry excessively-sometimes too much over large things, but many times over small events that are blown out of proportion. The following are signs of bad stress:

Physical

• Trouble sleeping
• Rapid or irregular heartbeat
• Tension or migraine headaches
• Stiffness or tightness in the back, shoulders, or neck
• Rapid breathing or shortness of breath
• Sweaty hands
• Upset stomach, cramps, heartburn, nausea, or diarrhea
• Fatigue

Behavioral

• Irritability
• Anxiety
• Drastic mood swings
• Difficulty concentrating
• Memory problems
• Conflicts with coworkers or friends
• Doubts about your ability to accomplish tasks
• Social isolation

From Ahead of the Pack by Josh Richardson. Copyright © 2006 Thomson Delmar Learning, a division of Thomson Learning, Inc. All rights reserved.

What Causes Stress: The Social Readjustment Rating Scale

When it comes to stress, it's really a case of different strokes for different folks. Some people have a very high threshold for stress. They are cool under pressure and can think clearly even in highly charged situations. Others are easily excited, nervous, and very prone to overreaction. Then you have your drama queens and kings, who seem to thrive on stress and appear bored when things are not at a fever pitch. It is universally acknowledged, however, that certain life events almost invariably contribute to stress. Psychiatrist Thomas H. Holmes and his colleagues devised the Social Readjustment Rating Scale to assess these life events and give them a corresponding "stress point" value. Holmes discovered that people whose points exceeded 300 could be expected to develop an illness within a year or two. Below are the events and their respective points. Test yourself, if you wish, and see if you have reason to be concerned.

Source: Reprinted (TK) with permission from Journal of Psychosomatic Research, vol. 11, p. 213, Thomas H. Holmes and Richard H. Rahe, "The Social Readjustment Rating Scale," copyright 1967, Pergamon Press plc.

On Your Mark, Get Set, Breathe…

The best form of stress relief in the world is universally available, completely free, and is absolutely devoid of any dangerous side effects. What is this miracle drug? It's called breathing.

Breathing is something that most of us take entirely for granted…but we shouldn't. The way you breathe can enormously affect the way you feel. The fact is, however, that few of us really know how to breathe correctly, in a way that imparts a feeling of well-being and calm.

When you are feeling stressed, try some conscious breathing. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair, take your shoes off, and focus all your attention on your breath. Do you see how your chest and stomach rise and fall? Listen to the sound of the air as you inhale and exhale. It should be smooth and even-almost effortless. There are some excellent breathing techniques that can help you get an immediate grip on stress. These include:

• Square Breathing. Sit with your feet flat on the floor and your hands relaxed in your lap. Close your eyes and slowly count to three as you take in a deep breath through your nose. Hold the breath for three slow counts, and then release the breath through your mouth for three slow counts. Hold still for three slow counts, and then repeat the process two or three times, as needed. This is an excellent technique for acute situations.
• In With the Good, Out with the Bad. This is a simple and very effective stress reliever. As you inhale, you tell yourself, "In with the good," and you let yourself fill up with good feelings. On your exhalation, you say, "Out with the bad," and you push out your negativity, feeling lighter almost immediately. Repeat as necessary until a sense of calm descends.
• Belly Breathing. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down and place one hand over your navel with your other hand on top. Through your nose, take in a deep breath, hold it for 2 to 3 seconds, and then feel the air come down into your belly so that your abdomen and your hands rise. Hold the breath for several seconds, as you feel your body calm down, and then slowly exhale through your mouth. Repeat this four or five times to get the effect.

Mind over Matter

Another way to grab your anxiety by the tail is to let your mind work for you in positive ways. When you are feeling anxious, your mind is working in negative ways. You start spinning out worst-case scenarios and, before you know it, you've spun out of control. Of course, some people are more predisposed to anxiety than others. You can begin to counter your orientation toward anxiety and negativity, which may be leading you toward stress, by practicing some of the following techniques that are designed to give your mind the strength it needs to deal with most things that come up.

Positive Self-talk
When people feel stressed, they may begin to dump on themselves. "What's the matter with you? Look at the mess you've made. Can't you do anything right?" This kind of endless stream of disapproving, unconstructive, incomplete thoughts that invade our brains is sometimes called "mind chatter." Positive self-talk holds those negative thoughts at bay and creates a constructive feeling of hope and possibility. Say things to yourself like, "I'm really learning this. I'm getting good at it. I know I can do it." Stay in the present tense-proactive and forward-looking.

Stop Thought
If you feel yourself on the verge of overwhelming anxiety, hold up a stop sign in your mind and say to yourself, "STOP THOUGHT." Just stepping on the brakes that way can send you in a whole other direction.

Mindfulness
This excellent method of calming oneself, which involves very consciously focusing on what is beautiful and relevant in the here and now, is a wonderful way to alleviate stress.

Visualization
Visualize yourself in a place or situation that feels good to you. Where would that be for you? A porch on a seaside house in Maine? Floating on a chaise in a swimming pool, sipping nectar out of a pineapple? You choose. This kind of visualization can be combined with the breathing practices we discussed above for some very fast and effective relief. The

Relaxation Response
This antidote to the "fight or flight" response was first named by Harvard cardiologist Herbert Benson. Benson theorized that the relaxation response corresponded to a physical portion of the brain, located in the hypothalamus, that, when triggered, sends out neurochemicals that almost exactly counteract the fight-or-flight response. The relaxation response can be evoked by following a simple two-step method:

1. Focus on a word or phrase that carries a positive charge for you. Love. Happiness. Serenity. Family-these are examples of words that people often choose.
2. If you find your mind wandering from the word or phrase-if the mind chatter begins to buzz-turn it away and refocus yourself on the chosen word or phrase.

The relaxation response is hard-wired in the brain, just as is the fight-or-flight response. Dr. Benson advocates practicing the relaxation response at least twice a day, for 10 to 15 minutes each time. Even if you do not feel immediate stress relief from practicing it, Dr. Benson argues that it is still good for you, like brushing your teeth and flossing, and the beneficial effects will become evident over time.

Relax Your Feet, Relax Your Toes…
Another supremely calming technique is to lie down and, with your eyes closed, to progressively relax each of your muscle groups as you move from your feet to the top of your head.

There are many other such techniques that can help you relax in times of stress. Finding what works for you is a process of discovery. Just don't let the process become another source of anxiety. As you look for ways to relax, look in a way that is calm and relaxing.

Relieving Stress through Lifestyle Changes

You can cope with stress by making lifestyle changes. There are changes you can make to your diet, exercise regimen, and sleep patterns that will improve your ability to cope with stress.

• Decrease or cut out caffeine. Caffeine is a stimulant; it has some of the same effects on the body that stress does. Avoiding coffee, tea, colas, and chocolate will reduce the physical symptoms of stress.
• Eat a well-balanced diet. A healthy diet will improve the body's ability to cope with stress. Avoid junk food, which is high in sugar and fat.
• Eat slowly. Try to relax and enjoy your meals rather than racing through them.
• Get enough sleep. You know how many hours of sleep you need to feel good the next day. Try to get that amount every night. Lack of sleep makes people more susceptible to stress.
• Get regular physical exercise. Aerobic exercise such as walking, jogging, or swimming has been shown to decrease stress levels. Regular physical activity or sports can decrease the tension and improve your strength and ability to cope.
• Do relaxation exercises. Activities such as resting, meditation, yoga, and deep breathing help relax the body and calm the mind.
• Take a break each day. Put a few minutes aside for yourself each day as a respite from the pressures of life. Pursue interests and hobbies that are a source of pleasure and distraction. Even a short rest can leave you relaxed and better able to cope.

From Reaching Your Potential: Personal and Professional Development, 3rd edition by Robert K. Throop and Marion B. Castellucci. Copyright © 2004 Thomson Delmar Learning, a division of Thomson Learning, Inc. All rights reserved.

Food for Thought: Are You Stressed Out?
If you answered yes to that question, it's time to examine your lifestyle. It can be hard-if not impossible-to make several lifestyle changes at the same time. So try integrating one change at a time into your life. Maybe getting regular exercise seems like a pretty big leap with school, a job, and a commute. Start with something simpler, like eating slowly. You will find that the impact of stress relief through lifestyle change will make you want to explore other changes.